Tim Woda

Apple Bans Sexy Apps. But Is It Enough?

Tim Woda — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:00:42 +0000

image source: baltimoresun.com

Last month Apple finally made the move to ban sexy applications from the company’s popular App Store. Female customers and parents can claim a big victory here because it was their loud and justifiable chorus of complaints that led to the change.

Apple made parental controls available last summer after parents complained of their absence on early versions of the iTouch and iPhone. But many felt that the large quantities of sexually suggestive apps for sale in the App Store was a problem as well. The recently banned applications included women in suggestive adult poses and/or barely dressed women. An estimated 5% of the 140,000 applications in the App Store were affected by the new decency standards. Noteworthy exemptions from the new policy are Playboy and Sports Illustrated’s Swim Suit application.

Limitations You Needs To Know

I applaud Apple’s move to make their App Store more family friendly and the introduction of parental controls last year. But it is important to understand the parental control limitations. Unless you block access to the Safari Internet browser on the device, kids can still access pornography on the iTouch and iPhone. Even if you set all of the parental control filters in the “Allowed Content” section to the most restrictive level, a simple Safari web search on the device for “iTouch porn” or “iPhone porn” will lead directly to tons of porn websites. I’m not sure what the “Allowed Content” section is filtering, but it isn’t porn.

If you are considering an iPhone or iTouch for your child, be sure to test drive the device for yourself before handing it over to your child. Check out this How-to-guide for setting up iTouch and iPhone parental control if you need assistance.

I want to know what you think. Is Apple’s doing enough on this issue or should they give parents more options to monitor or restrict how their children are using the iTouch and iPhone?

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda became a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. An expert on the topic today, he co-founded KidSafe.me and is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children. Tim also shares his experience with parents through his blog at timwoda.com and Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Chatroulette Takes Sexting to a New Level

Tim Woda — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:04:00 +0000

A Disturbing New Phenomenon and How To Deal With It

If you haven’t heard of Chatroulette.com or seen it first hand, the information I’m about to share with you will leave you in shock – especially if you have children.

Chatroulette in a Nutshell

Chatroulette is a website in which you (or your child) are literally matched up with random strangers on the Internet. When matched up, you will be sharing a live video stream with one another using your respective webcams. You can also share a live audio conversation or text chat – much like you see in a traditional online chat room. At the top of the webpage there is a “Next” button. When this button is clicked, the website searches for a “random stranger” (the website’s words, not mine) to connect you with. When the web service finds a random stranger to connect you with, they will be broadcasted live via their webcam. You will simultaneously be broadcasted to them via your own webcam. You can see on the website both the other person, as well as yourself. There are no filters. There are no parental controls. There are no limits. Any child, adult or sexual predator can use this website. They could be wearing anything or nothing at all and doing literally anything when they come onscreen. What you will see is shocking.

I have visited the website only once and for less than 3 minutes. I recorded that visit and have shared that video below. I have not clipped the video. I have not edited the video in anyway (except to significantly blur one of the “random strangers” performing a sexual act for whomever the website randomly connected him with). I wanted my readers to experience the website in an authenticate way without being subjected to the blatant pornography performed by a live, “random stranger”.

Porn in the Classroom

According to Alexa.com, a popular Internet traffic analysis company owned by Amazon.com, Chatroulette is now one of the most popular websites on the web. So where are all of the site visitors coming from and who is using the website? As of today, 12% of Chatroulette visitors came to the site from Facebook. The most common location of a person that is using the website… school! You read that correctly. The website is not filtered out by traditional filtering software used by most parents or schools.

How to Block Chatroulette

Needless to say, the most important thing you can do is to speak to your children and make sure that they clearly understand your expectations and values. But having a back up plan is a must. You will have to get a bit creative to block this website until parental control software catches up with this new phenomenon. The following is the process to follow for blocking a website if you have a PC running on Windows (I welcome Comments to this post if you are familiar with a similar tactic for a Mac).

Windows uses something called a HOSTS file to maintain a personal list of web addresses. Any time a request is made for a URL (website), the HOSTS file will be checked first. You can easily and effectively block access to a website – without any special software – by adding it to your Windows HOSTS file. The process that I will describe below will work regardless of the Internet browser that you, your child or your students use.

Step 1: Go to your HOSTS file which is located at:

C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DRIVERS\ETC for windows Vista and XP
C:\WINNT\SYSTEM32\DRIVERS\ETC for Windows 2k
C:\WINDOWS for Windows 98 and ME

Step 2: Open HOSTS with Notepad. The default Windows HOSTS looks exactly like this:

# Copyright © 1993-1999 Microsoft Corp.
#
# This is a sample HOSTS file used by Microsoft TCP/IP for Windows.
#
# This file contains the mappings of IP addresses to host names. Each
# entry should be kept on an individual line. The IP address should
# be placed in the first column followed by the corresponding host name.
# The IP address and the host name should be separated by at least one
# space.
#
# Additionally, comments (such as these) may be inserted on individual
# lines or following the machine name denoted by a “#” symbol.
#
# For example:
#
# 102.54.94.97 rhino.acme.com # source server
# 38.25.63.10 x.acme.com # x client host
#
127.0.0.1 localhost

Step 3: Directly under the line that says 127.0.0.1 Localhost, you will want to type:

127.0.0.1 chatroulette.com
127.0.0.1 www.chatroulette.com

Step 4: Close Notepad and answer “Yes” when prompted.

Step 5: Reboot your computer and attempt to access your now blocked website. You should see a “Cannot find server” or a DNS Error saying: “The page cannot be displayed”.

Without getting into too technical of an explanation of what you are doing, this process basically tells your computer to look for the website on your computer instead of on the Internet. It creates a loop so that your child never hit the Chatroulette website and therefore effectively blocks it. You can follow the same procedure to block other websites as well.

The Internet and mobile phones can be wonderful things with tremendous utility but they do present risks. Talk to your child about your expectations using this Internet & Mobile Safety Pledge as your guide and monitor how, when and who they are talking too online. With disturbing trends like Chatroulette popping up so often, parents and teachers need to be diligent.

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Tim raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations. He is also a co-founder of KidSafe, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe while teaching healthy online habits.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops for Parents in March

Tim Woda — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:46:53 +0000

This month I will be facilitating Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops for Parents at the following schools in the Washington, DC area. If you are a parent, faculty member or a trusted adult in the life of a child, I encourage you to attend. As always, my workshops are free to the workshop hosts and attendees and you are guaranteed to walk away with invaluable information that you can apply to raising and guiding the kids in your life the moment you leave the event.

Where: Meade Senior High School, Fort Meade, MD
When: Tuesday, March 9th at 7:00 PM
Who: Parents who have children attending Meade Senior High and any Meade Senior High feeder schools

Where: St. Pius X Regional School, Bowie, MD
When: Monday, March 15th at 7:30 PM
Who: Parents who have children attending St. Pius X Regional School and parent parishioners at St. Pius X Catholic Church

Where: St. Mary’s School, Landover Hills, MD
When: Thursday, March 18th at 7:00 PM
Who: Parents who have children attending St. Mary’s School and parent parishioners at St. Mary’s Catholic Church

Learn more about hosting an Internet & Mobile Safety Workshop for your school, church or community organization and see what others are saying about these innovative workshops.

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Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Thank You buySAFE

Tim Woda — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:39:43 +0000

This past week I was a guest speaker at the Miva Merchant Internet Conference in San Diego. My presentation, “Turning the Risk Discount into a Trust Premium”, was my last official, public appearance as a member of the buySAFE team. I have included an excerpt video from the session below.

As you probably know, I was a member of buySAFE’s founding team in 2003. Over the years I served as the Company’s Director of Community Development, Director of Business Development and VP of Business Development & Sales. It is with both a bit of sadness and a lot of excitement that I will complete my transition from buySAFE to KidSafe in the coming weeks. If you have not seen what we’re up at KidSafe , there was a great article by Anushay Hossain on The Huffington Post this weekend that speaks to KidSafe and how we’re helping parents with smart tools to keep their kids safe.

After almost seven years of helping to build buySAFE, I am leaving the company in very capable hands and with the brightest future that the company has ever had. My role has been filled by three incredibly talented individuals that will surely take buySAFE to even greater heights. John DiSarlo has joined the buySAFE team as the new VP of Sales & Business Development. Maria Tatone, has joined the team as Director of Business Development and David Ames is the company’s new Director of Enterprise Sales.

It has been a deeply satisfying experience to work with our investors, Grotech Ventures and Core Capital, our many partners and customers and my fellow employees – particularly Jeff Grass, Hans Dreyer, Michael Beveridge, Rob Kody and my brother Steve who originally conceived of buySAFE. I’m thrilled that Steve and I will continue to work together at KidSafe.

I am obviously looking forward to my next adventure, but I am also very much looking forward to buySAFE’s continued success over the coming months and years. Thank you buySAFE.

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Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Parenting Digital Kids is About to Get Easier

Tim Woda — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:31:12 +0000

Digital Natives and Digital Immigrants

Today’s children represent the first generation to grow up entirely in a digital world. They have spent their entire lives using computers, video games, webcams, digital music players, mobile phones, instant messaging services and everything else the digital world has to offer.

Our kids are all “native speakers” of a digital language. They are Digital Natives.

So what does that make this generation of parents? Those of us who were not born into a digital world are, and always will be, Digital Immigrants. As immigrants, we are now in the process of learning a new language. This makes parenting today more challenging than ever before. After all, how often does the immigrant have the responsibility to teach the native how to stay safe and responsible in the native’s own land?

One thing that never changes is that kids are just as naive and reckless about risks as they have always been and they need parents to provide guidance and oversight. Did you know:

More than 70% of teens talk to strangers online
More than 60% of teens have been asked to meet face-to-face by a stranger they met online
1 in 7 kids are sexually solicited online every year
1 in 3 kids are bullied online or with a mobile phone
20% of teens admit to electronically sharing a nude photo of themselves with a friend or stranger
40% of teens say they have had an uncomfortable situation online but never told an adult
And almost 50% of teens say their parents would not approve if their parents knew what they were really doing online and with their mobile phone.

Today’s parent is facing a unique set of parenting challenges. A complete lack of transparency into what is going on in the Digital Natives’ land makes it near impossible to set and manage limits, instill self-discipline and personal responsibility and to help our children maintain balance. That’s why I’m so excited about what we are doing at KidSafe.

KidSafe Makes Parenting A Little Easier

KidSafe is like a translator of the Digital Natives’ language, a GPS unit of their land and the phone bill that parents wish they had. Like the technology that our kids are using to gain instant access to everything, KidSafe provides real-time visibility into your kid’s digital world. Our goal has been to develop a simple to use technology that makes parenting in a digital world easier for a change. We want and need your feedback however. Please visit www.kidsafe.me and request an invitation to participate in our private beta.

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Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

How Hard Is It To Target Kids Online?

Tim Woda — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 04:33:52 +0000

This informative video shows just how easy it is for an online predator to target and track a child down with just a little bit of information obtained on the Internet. Please take a few minutes to watch and then speak to your kids about these safety guidelines.

If you want to know what your kids are putting online, visit www.kidsafe.me to learn how to protect your kids while teaching them healthy habits.

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Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

What Type of Mobile Phone Does Your Child Use?

Tim Woda — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:33:13 +0000

KidSafe nearing launch

As you many have seen in this U.S. News & World Report article, KidSafe is quickly approaching launch. We’re tremendously excited!

We want to know which mobile telephone platform your kids are using today and would appreciate it if you will share this poll with your family, friends and social networking followers. And if you are interested in being a beta tester for KidSafe, please tell us. Thanks!

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Entrepreneurs Take On Sexting and Child Safety Online

Tim Woda — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:00:16 +0000

Parents’ concern for their children’s risky behavior with new technologies is an untapped market

Last year, Northern Virginia entrepreneur Steve Woda experienced an incident that seems all too common in the Internet Age: A young member of his extended family was contacted online by a suspicious adult. While the family member was not harmed, it forced Woda and his family to think about ways to prevent the new technologies their kids use—such as social networking and text messages—from opening doors to sexual predators. But he didn’t just think about what his own family could do. He and his brother Tim started a business to help parents monitor their children’s use of the Internet, text messages, and cellphones.

Woda’s KidSafe.me is one of several businesses that have recently joined the battle against “sexting”—a relatively new phenomenon involving teenagers sending and receiving sexually explicit messages and images via their cellphones. Television is helping stir the pot; a recent episode of the Tyra Banks Show featured stern adults reading the salacious details of teenage girls’ text messages to a shocked audience. On Good Morning America, Diane Sawyer declared that sexting has reached “epidemic proportions.”

That description might sound over the top, but there is at least some evidence that sexting has become widespread. According to a survey by the Associated Press and MTV released December 3, 30 percent of 14-to-24-year-olds have sent or received nude photos through cellphones or the Internet. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a Democratic congresswoman from Florida, introduced an antisexting bill to the House in March that claimed, “One in 5 teenagers…used their cell phones to send explicit photos of themselves to a peer.”

The outrage over sexting has created controversy over whether the laws meant to protect minors have gone too far. The district attorney in Wyoming County, Pa., threatened to bring child pornography charges against three teenage girls who took seminude photos of themselves—but did not send the photos—on cellphones that were later confiscated. In March, the ACLU came to the defense of the three girls, suing the prosecutor for allegedly violating their right to freedom of expression. Earlier this year, Vermont legislators relaxed antisexting laws concerning minors after the state’s chief prosecutor argued that teenagers shouldn’t be pinned as sex offenders. “It’s become a bit of a panic,” says Woda. He’s not taking sides on exactly what the right legal response to the problem should be. “I don’t know if tightening the laws is the right thing. As a parent, you don’t want to rely on that.”

Woda thought parents, instead of depending on the law, would want tools to track what their kids are up to online. Closely related to the sexting scare have been news reports of teens committing suicide after “cyberbullies” revealed embarrassing details about them online. Woda had already worked in the world of online safety when he started buySAFE in 2000, a company that certifies online merchants and guarantees transactions so customers don’t have to fear fraud. Since June, Woda and a small team have been working on KidSafe, which he hopes to launch as both an online program and mobile application in early 2010. KidSafe, which is currently in beta testing, looks like the phone bill that parents wish they had. When the parent logs in to the program, KidSafe displays who texts or calls their child most often, mines publicly available information in order to identify those people, shows if the kid is texting or calling more frequently than the national average, and flags text messages that might contain suspicious words, like references to sex or drugs. A database of more than 10,000 instances of textspeak and emoticons identifies code words that might confound parents. The number eight, for example, is commonly used in text messages as a stand-in for oral sex, says Woda. He is also working to link the program to social networking sites so it can display similar data about how much time a child is spending on sites like Facebook and if he or is she is receiving suspicious messages there.

But KidSafe can access the sensitive information on a phone or social networking account only if the parent can access the phone and install the KidSafe application or provide the user name and password for a Facebook account. More mature teenagers with their own disposable income could easily evade the program. “The parent of the 15- or 16-year-old is not the perfect customer. It’s the parent of the child who is saying, ‘Can I get a phone?’” says Woda. The parent then could strike a deal with the child—he or she only gets the phone if it contains KidSafe.

Woda concedes that kids are often more tech-savvy than their parents, so no tool can provide perfect oversight. But parents’ concern over sexting, cyberbullying, and other online threats is driving businesses to improve protection. Several other start-ups are now competing to offer products to help parents keep tabs on their kids. SafetyWeb, in the process of being launched by Mike Clark, a former executive at Photobucket, is a website that will scour the Web to find any trouble a child or teenager may have gotten into online, such as friending a sex offender or cyberbullying classmates. SafetyWeb recently raised money from venture capital firm Battery Ventures. Woda says his team is trying to a develop a system for KidSafe that could similarly search for potential threats in publicly available information. Some companies claim to have those tools in place already. ReputationDefender is a Silicon Valley-based company started in 2006 whose services include finding and destroying “inaccurate, inappropriate, hurtful, and slanderous information” online. Its MyChild product claims to defend a child or teen’s online reputation for $14.95 a month.

The difficulty for these businesses is similar to the difficulties facing parents. It’s a challenge to keep up with kids who are finding new websites and developing new lingo all the time. “The way kids are communicating is changing faster than the market can adapt,” says Woda.

Reprint from U.S. News & World Report, by Matthew Bandyk

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Internet & Mobile Safety Pledge

Tim Woda — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:29:57 +0000

You can help your child safely enjoy technology and steer clear of digital dangers such as predators, sexting and cyberbullying by getting involved with their digital life. Talk to your child about the digital world – early and often – and set clear boundaries. Talk about the websites you visit and share your favorite YouTube® videos. Regularly ask your child about what they are doing online, about their favorite websites and online “friends”. If you don’t know as much about technology as your child, let them teach you. They will relish the opportunity to be the expert in the family for a change. The key is to keep an open dialogue, make sure your child knows what is expected of them, and hold them accountable. One way to ensure that your child knows what is expected of them is for you and your child to review, sign and post a Safety Pledge on the refrigerator.

I will talk with my parent(s) so that we can establish rules for using the Internet and my mobile phone. We will decide the time of day that these can be used, the length of time that I can use them, the appropriate online areas for me to visit, and the appropriate uses of my mobile phone. I will not access other areas online or break these rules without their permission.

I will not give out my address, telephone number, parents’ work address/telephone number(s), or the name and location of my school without the permission of my parent(s).

I will not use chat rooms and I will only use instant messengers, email and text messaging to communicate with those people my parents have approved.

I will not respond to email, instant messages or text messages from someone I do not know offline (in real-life). I will not arrange to meet anyone in person that I “meet” online. This includes “friends of friends”.

I will never send my picture to anyone or post a picture of myself online without first checking with my parent(s), and I will not send or post pictures of other people.

I will not use bad language, insult people or be rude to other people online. I will not forward instant messages, text or email messages that are hurtful to others. I will respect the privacy of my friends and family.

I will tell an adult right away if I come across anything online or receive any information that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I will always follow the rules of Internet sites and I will not purchase products or services online without my parents’ approval and help. I will not download anything, including email attachments without my parent’s approval.

These rules apply wherever I am: at home, a friend’s house, school, and library or whenever I use technology.

Click here to download a copy of this Internet & Mobile Safety Pledge to print, review with your child, sign and post.

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops

Tim Woda — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:14:33 +0000

In the last month I’ve had the pleasure to deliver Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops for the parents of several local schools. It has been an extremely busy month but I wanted to slow down long enough to thank the administrators, staff members and parents that organized and attended the events. In particular I want to those associated with

Benjamin Tasker Middle School (Bowie, MD)
Kenilworth Elementary School (Bowie, MD)
St. Jane de Chantal School (Bethesda, MD)
Pointer Ridge Elementary School (Bowie, MD)
Tulip Grove Elementary School (Bowie, MD)
Heather Hills Elementary School (Bowie, MD)
Northview Elementary School (Bowie, MD)
Yorktown Elementary School (Bowie, MD)

Their commitment to the children and families they support were evident in their enthusiasm to take up this important topic.

Thank you!

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe (www.kidsafe.me), the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their kids safe while teaching healthy online habits, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other community organizations. If you are interested in learning more about his workshops or KidSafe, please contact him at (703) 348-5010, ext. 702

Thank You Bishop Ireton High School

Tim Woda — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:38:06 +0000

Bishop Ireton High School

Yesterday I had the opportunity to share an Internet & Mobile Safety Workshop for Parents with Bishop Ireton High School in Alexandria, VA. As a 1988 graduate of DeMatha, a cross-town rival, the last time I visited the school, I wasn’t exactly on the same team. A very special thank you to Mr. Tim Hamer, Principal and Ms. Erin O’Leary, Director of Counseling Services for hosting the event and welcoming me to the campus. As a fellow parent concerned with the well-being of our children, I felt very much a part of the same team on this visit. Thank you for your interest in this issue.

Share this post on Twitter

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Cyberbullying: Do You Know What To Look For?

Tim Woda — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:35:24 +0000

Cyberbullying is when a child is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated or embarrassed using technology like text messaging, email, instant messaging, blogs, websites and online games. This isn’t the bullying we experienced as a child. Unlike traditional bullying, there is no refuge for the victims because cyberbullying goes on 24-hours a day. It invades a child’s home and is often unrelenting. One third of American teens and one sixth of tweens have been cyberbullied – that’s 13 million kids! Examples of cyberbullying include:

Threatening, malicious or harassing language aimed at another person
Sending or forwarding (or posting online) pictures of another person via text message, email, instant messenger with the intent of humiliating or embarrassing them
Spreading rumors or gossip about someone
Stealing someone’s password(s) and sharing with them with others or logging into their account and editing their profiles and/or images to embarrass the person
Stalking someone via email, text messages, instant messenger or online
Registering someone else’s email address on websites that will send them spam
Using another person’s email, instant messenger or online account to send messages with malicious intent

Check out this video and then read on to learn the signs of cyberbullying and the tips to “delete it”.

Cyberbullying often occurs in front of a worldwide audience and there’s no way to control how quickly or how far the bullying spreads once it’s online. In fact, children that would never have considered bullying someone face-to-face often pile on when the bullying is occurring online. This happens because they feel detached from the victim since they are confronting their victicm face-to-face. Children often justify their participation in cyberbullying as a way to keep the focus on others rather than it turning on them.

All of us should be talking to our children about cyberbullying and we should be encouraging them to come to us if they experience anything online that makes them feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, some kids avoid talking to their parents when they are victims of cyberbullying. The victims are often afraid that being a “tattle-tail” will just make the bullying worse. If your child has enough courage to tell you they are being cyberbullied or even if they just hint that it is happening, take it seriously. Cyberbullying can have a lasting, negative impact on your child, and there have been cases of child suicide linked to cyberbullying.

Signs of Cyberbullying:

Your child suddenly stops using computers or mobile phones or video games
Your child acts nervous when receiving email, instant messages or text messages
Your child seems uneasy about going to school or to school related gatherings
Your child starts to withdraw from family or friends.

These may be signs of cyberbullying. At a minimum these are signals that something is happening in their world, so keep your eyes open.

What To Do If Your Child Is Cyberbullied:

Teach your child to not respond! Responding will always make the situation worse.
Save the text messages, emails, chats, IMs or webpages in case you need to report it.
Block or ban the bully. Most technologies give you the ability to block another user.
Set up new accounts. If many people are involved, it may be necessary to change your child’s mobile number, email address, screennames and user names.
Report the incident(s) to your Internet Service Provider, mobile telephone company or the website operator. They will take this matter extremely seriously.
If the bullying includes a classmate, talk to your child’s school to see if they can help.
If you feel like your child is in danger, contact your local police.

If your child is living in two households due to a divorce, it is important to speak with your child’s other parent about cyberbullying and to develop a consolidated plan to avoid or address the issue. It may also be wise to consider the use of a parental intelligence system such as KidSafe (www.kidsafe.me). KidSafe provides parents with smart tools to help them keep their kids safe while teaching healthy online habits.

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Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Kevin Jennings: The Right Person for “Safe School” Czar?

Tim Woda — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 16:04:14 +0000

Sexual Relationship Between a Student and an Adult Male Met in a Bus Station Not Reported by “Safe School” Czar

Kevin Jennings: Obama's 'Safe School' Czar

Kevin Jennings, now the “safe schools” appointee in Barack Obama’s US Department of Education, is a prominent activist. As the Executive Director of the Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Educators Network (GLSEN), he has done much to make schools safer for students who identify as gay. But that alone doesn’t qualify him to be the “safe school” czar. Rather, I believe it is the position he takes regarding the following account that casts doubt about his qualifications for such an important role.

Since Mr. Jennings began his career as a teacher it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he often uses former students to make various points when he is speaking to groups or in his books. One such student he referred to as “Brewster”. In at least one talk to a GLSEN rally in Iowa in 2000, we get a clear picture into Mr. Jennings’ qualifications for protecting children and promoting appropriate school-parent communication. Below is a transcript of the section of Jennings’ speech that speaks to “Brewster” and an audio of the speech can be heard here.

And it took me back to 12 years ago at Concord Academy in Concord, Massachusetts where I taught, where I was a very scared young gay teacher. I had been fired from my first job for being gay.

And in my second job I wasn’t sure how I wanted to deal with that. And I was in my first month on the job and I had an advisee named Brewster. Brewster was missing a lot of classes; he was in the boarding school so I said to his teacher, his first period teacher, I said, ‘next time Brewster misses a class I want you to tell me that he’s missed that class and, uh, I will go find him.’ So I went and found Brewster one morning when she had called and he was asleep in his dorm room.

And I said, “Brewster, what are you doing in there asleep?” And he said, “Well, I’m tired.” And I said, “Well we all are tired and we all got to school today.” And he said, “Well I was out late last night.” And I said, “What were you doing out late on a school night.” And he said, “Well, I was in Boston…” Boston was about 45 minutes from Concord. So I said, “What were you doing in Boston on a school night Brewster?” He got very quiet, and he finally looked at me and said, “Well I met someone in the bus station bathroom and I went home with him.” High school sophomore, 15 years old. That was the only way he knew how to meet gay people. I was a closeted gay teacher, 24 years old, didn’t know what to say. I knew I should say something quickly so I finally said, My best friend had just died of AIDS the week before. I looked at Brewster and said, “You know, I hope you knew to use a condom.” He said to me something I will never forget, He said “Why should I, my life isn’t worth saving anyway.”

Mr. Jennings did not notify authorities that a 15 year old boy left the boarding school at night to travel 45 minutes away to a bus station and then went to an adult stranger’s home and likely had sex with him. He didn’t notify anyone that the boy expressed that his life wasn’t worth living.

Today Jennings claims he had no reason to believe that the child was engaging in sex with a strange man he met in a bus station. What do you think? Why did he ask the boy if he used a condom if he didn’t think the teen was engaging in sex with strangers from bus stops? Did he know the boy left school grounds or go to the home of a stranger? Did he know the boy was severely depressed? Of course he did – it is Mr. Jennings’ own accounting of the Brewster incident. What was Mr. Jennings’ response to the National Education Association (NEA) for bringing this issue to light? Jennings hired a law firm, Nixon Peabody LLP, and threatened to sue the NEA for libel, saying there was no evidence that he knew the student in question was sexually active, or that he failed to report the situation. In fact, The Washington Times reported in 2004 that “state authorities said Mr. Jennings filed no report” with the Massachusetts Department for Children and Families, the department to which Jennings — as a Massachusetts teacher — would have been legally obliged to report the situation.

It is totally reasonable for parents to expect that the “safe school” czar is someone with an unambiguous record on appropriate school-parent communication. Instead of threatening law suits, Mr. Jennings could have taken a different position. Had Jennings said something like – “I was a new teacher, in over my head with that situation. I should have alerted someone about a troubled 15 year old boy being 45 minutes away from his boarding school without permission and potentially having sex with an adult he met in a bus station,” then maybe he would deserve a pass – assuming the rest of his record stands up to scrutiny.

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Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Facebook reaches 65 million mobile users

Tim Woda — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:38:01 +0000

Facebook milestone - 65 million mobile users

Assuming you haven’t been living on a deserted island, you already know that Facebook is the most popular social networking website on the planet. In fact, it gets more popular every day. But the way you use Facebook is not the way your teen uses Facebook. For this generation, Facebook has replaced face to face communication, talking on the telephone and even e-mail.

According to a June 2009 Neilsen report, “How Teens Use Media”, almost 50% of teens have a Facebook account and by comparison to adults, they are described as “prolific” users. But alas, technology moves as quickly as our children.

Facebook has announced that they’ve hit a new milestone – 65 million people now access Facebook via their mobile phone. Just eight months ago that number stood at “only” 20 million people. Facebook’s web site m.facebook.com works on any mobile browser and x.facebook.com is designed specifically for touch screen phones. Since 37% of teens have access to the web via their mobile phone, your “prolific” user may actually be using Facebook more than you think.

Social Networking Safety Tips for Mobile Kids:

Talk to your teen about how they use social networking sites. Having an open dialogue creates a more comfortable environment to talk about this part of your child’s life. If you’re not comfortable, your child won’t be comfortable talking to you about this aspect of their life.
Place limits on when and where your child can use their mobile phone. When we were children, we all used the telephone wired to the wall in the kitchen… and we survived. In fact, this probably kept a few of us from getting ourselves into an awful lot of trouble when we were younger. Kids should be expected to use their mobile phone in public areas of the house – just like their Internet connected computers .
Clearly communicate your expectations.

Create an appropriate username

Set the privacy settings for the account so that only approved “Friends” can access their profile

Do not accept “Friend” requests from strangers

Do not post personal info online such as their real name, their age, address, school name or phone number

Do not post, send or forward explicit pictures of themselves or others

Do not talk about drugs, sex or other inappropriate topics for children (yes, teens are still children)

Treat others online the way they would like to be treated offline – the Golden Rule

Tell a parent if something happens that makes them uncomfortable

Following these common sense tips will help teach your child that using social networking sites like Facebook comes with some responsibilities. Francis Duncan recently post “Social Networking Survey Results” on Safety Clicks. Francis shares some staggering information about what teens say they’re doing on social networking sites like Facebook. I strongly recommend that you check it out. You won’t believe some of the things kids are doing on these sites.

For more information on protecting your child online and on their mobile phone and to learn about exciting new parenting tools to be released in the coming months, visit www.kidsafe.me – smart tools to keep our kids safe.
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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Popular Children’s Web Site Under Attack by Identity Thieves

Tim Woda — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 11:33:30 +0000

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Jonathan Dick, you won’t get your hands on my child!

Tim Woda — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 13:01:45 +0000

Teacher indicted on new charges.

You’ll hear me say it again and again, you need to know who is sending text messages to your children and who they are interacting with on Social Networking sites like Facebook and MySpace.

A middle school teacher arrested for sending sexual text messages to a 15-year-old boy has been indicted on new charges

This middle school teacher and lacrosse coach identified his victims on Facebook and then put his professional experience interacting with children to use by developing relationships with the kids and “grooming” them. Grooming is the term authorities use to describe the how a predator will patiently and methodically work to warp the child’s mind. Their goal of course is to cloud the child’s sense of right and wrong and/or exploit their naivety so that the sicko can harm the child in the sickest, most demented ways. Once Jonathan Dick (the name of the indicted teacher) built the trust of a child, he would start to interact with the child by mobile phone and text messages. This is where he could work under the radar to try and “seal the deal” by pushing to meet with the child face to face. According to a June 2009 study by Nielsen How Teens Use Media, the average teen sends and receives more than 2,800 text messages a month. I know it is a huge task but parents need to know what is coming and going in their kids’ messages – assuming that protecting your child is more important to you than protecting their privacy.

Parents — you need to know who is interacting with your children on Social Networking sites and who is contacting your child on their mobile phone. There are hundreds of thousands of these sickos out there so please don’t think that your child can not become a victim or the prey of another “Jonathan Dick”. It can happen to anyone and the more a parent thinks it won’t happen to their family, the easier it is for the predators.

A reprint from the Washington Examiner…

Associated Press
07/30/09 11:50 PM EDT

BEL AIR, MD. — Harford County prosecutors say a middle school teacher arrested for sending sexual text messages to a 15-year-old boy has been indicted on new charges.

Forty-three-year-old Jonathan Dick of Bel Air was indicted Tuesday on 18 counts, including third-degree sex offense and sodomy.

Harford County State’s Attorney Joseph Cassilly says the indictment involves a 14-year-old boy and the alleged offenses occurred between March 2007 and April 2008.

Dick, a physical education teacher at Fallston Middle School, was charged in March with two counts of solicitation of a minor.

Cassilly says Dick remains held on bond.

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______________________________________________________________

Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Technology Has Changed. Kids Haven’t.

Tim Woda — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:57:04 +0000

At the end of my last post I suggested that parents take stock of the digital devices that their children have at their disposal. Now that you know just how “wired” your children are, let’s talk about how they are using technology.

As parents we often think of the use of technology as either going online or going offline. This doesn’t apply to our children who are growing up with technology weaved into every aspect of their lives. Our kids ARE online – constantly wired to the digital world. Nuance? Not really.

An Avatar

Kids are doing the things that kids have always done – they’re just doing them online. Kids have always passed notes, now they’re doing it through text messages from their mobile phones. Instead of buying albums or CDs, they’re downloading music from iTunes. Kids have replaced board games with a gaming console or a handheld gaming device like a Nintendo DS. When we were kids we kept a journal and today’s youth have blogs and websites like Facebook and MySpace. I used to dress up my G.I. Joe and my sister dressed up Barbie. Now kids are dressing up their online characters called avatars. So kids themselves haven’t really changed that much.

Another important similarity to previous generations – kids are just as naive about risks and just as reckless as they have always been. Let’s face it, even the mellowest of us lacked the same sense of self-preservation as kids that the adults in our lives had. Kids have always made poorer choices than responsible adults. Dr. David Walsh, president of the National Institute on Media and the Family puts it this way, “The part of their brain that puts the brakes on things is under major construction”.

Web 2.0 enables kids to create web content

While kids haven’t changed that much, technology is changing quickly. This makes it difficult for parents who see the world as either “going online” or “going offline” to keep up with our digital kids. Kids are not just using technology and consuming online content, they are now creating it. Posting pictures online at Photobucket, videos on YouTube, sharing opinions on Facebook. These are all examples of what’s called Web 2.0 – user generated content.

Web 2.0 gives kids more choices – greater opportunity for both good and bad choices. What should they post online? Who should they be interacting with? Let’s look at just some of the online decisions that are too common among kids.

Sharing passwords with friends
Posting personal information on chat boards or social networking sites
Befriending unknown people simply because their online profile reflects similar interests (remember the lessons we all learned about talking to strangers?)
Embarrassing or harassing other kids (kids used to get relief from a bully when they went home. Not anymore!)
Talking about sex, sometimes with “Friends” they have never actually met or seen.

Right about now, you might be saying to yourself, “I’ve spoken to my child and they know they shouldn’t do these things. I’m pretty confident my child is making the right choices.” A few cyber safety studies suggest you might be only half correct.

John Walsh

A Cox Communication study conducted in partnership with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and “America’s Most Wanted” Host John Walsh illustrates the point well. 59% of the teens say that posting personal information or photos on public blogs or social networking sites is unsafe. That being said, 62% of the same kids say that they post photos of themselves, 50% share their age, 45% share the school they attend and 41% share the city they live in. And here’s the kicker…a whopping 14% (that’s 1 in 7) post their cell phone number on public blogs or social networking sites!

How about sexting (x-rated rated text messaging)? You might be saying, “I know my kids wouldn’t be involved with this insanity because I’ve talked to my child and she knows sexting is inappropriate!” The most widely quoted study on sexting is from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. According to the study, 1 in 5 teens say they have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures or video of themselves even though 75% of the offending kids said they knew sexting was “wrong”.

Most parents are talking to their kids about what choices to make online and kids are getting the message. Despite this fact, kids continue to do what kids have always done – they disregard the lessons from parents and make poor choices anyway. Talking to your kids and teaching them right from wrong is critical. Trying to keep an open dialogue with them never goes out of style. But parental oversight is more important than ever.

Who is your child IMing, texting, emailing?
What pictures/videos are they’re posting online or sending from their phone?
Is their social networking profile marked Private or is it visible to literally anyone?
What websites and chatrooms do they frequent?
Who are your child’s social networking “Friends”?

This isn’t a question about privacy. This is a question of parental involvement. By definition parental oversight means that there are limits to the amount of privacy kids have. As parents we have an obligation to know the answers to these questions and to stay up-to-date as our children’s activities and sphere of influence evolves. Simply talking to our kids about right and wrong isn’t enough. Kids need oversight, especially in a Web 2.0 world. When we were kids we weren’t always thrilled with our parents’ desire to be involved or informed either. Remember all the questions they asked us when we went out on a Friday night? Remember how dad wanted to meet your friends? For most of us, our parents asked the questions and engaged whether we liked it or not. Technology has changed but kids haven’t and neither should parents.
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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Are Your Kids Building An Army of Webkinz?

Tim Woda — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 15:14:29 +0000

Are your kids building an army of Webkinz?

Being online doesn’t just refer to the computer located in your kitchen. Kids access the Internet from laptops, mobile phones, gaming consoles and handheld gaming devices. Are you worried your teen will have arthritic thumbs from texting so much? Are your little ones slowly building an army of Webkinz? If this sounds like your child, let’s talk.

Obviously the digital world has a ton of benefits to our children but you may be concerned about what they’re doing in the world of bits and bytes and what decisions they’re making. If you’re not concerned, I hope that you are at least curious. Most of us don’t fully understand some aspect of the technology that our kids are using whether it is MMS, webcams, social networking, PictoChat, or IM/SMS lingo. The good news is that you can become more familiar with technology and you can learn about the issues that affect your kids online. These issues include cyberbullying, revealing too much and predators. Bullying existed long before the Internet. Kids have always been more naive and more reckless than adults and sick, demented child predators are not a new phenomenon. The difference is that while today’s digital world has many advantages, it also helps to cloak these treats in the shadows and the opportunity for them to go unchecked by a trusted adult is much greater.

Sexual predators use technology and websites that attract kids including chatrooms, social networking sites and gaming sites. If a website or technology attracts children, it also attracts sexual predators – period. Sexual predators are hunting which means they go where their prey is. They often camouflage themselves and they are cunning and dangerous. Predators make contact with children and work hard to develop friendship, emotional reliance, and eventually interest in sexual topics. He or she may initiate offline relations quickly or spend months “grooming” the child to counter the child’s good instincts and the safety lessons you’re teaching your kids. Needless to say, they’re experts at fly under the radar. They use tactics such as moving the dialogue to websites parents wouldn’t instinctively find threatening such as a gaming website or to a mobile phone and text messaging. The ultimate goal in many cases is to convince the child to meet face-to-face.

So there’s a lot here and I’m not going to try and tackle it all in one post but I’m not going anywhere. I’ll dive deep into all of the things we trusted adults can and should be doing to make our kid’s digital world as fun and safe as possible. Subscribe to this blog for some practical tips or follow me on Twitter.

A good place to start until my next post however is to take an inventory of your home’s technology. What technology do your kids use or have access to that is wired to the rest of the world via the Internet or telephone network? Not sure? Well assume that if it is electronic that it can probably connect to some sort of network and then use Google or ask your kids about it. You may learn more than you think from them and your kids will probably revel in the opportunity to show you how much they know.

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

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Welcome

Tim Woda — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 01:36:00 +0000

I’m a dad. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m an Internet & Child Safety Advocate.

Based upon a bad online shopping experience my brother Steve had on eBay, he founded an Internet trust and safety company called buySAFE in 2003. I joined the buySAFE team when the business launched and today I serve as the company’s Vice President of Business Development & Sales. My most important role however is as a dad to my three children.

As a father, nothing is more important to me than protecting my kids from harm, and teaching them to be smart and safe when a difficult situation arises. But when a child in our family was victimized by an Internet child predator, it was a wake up call. As parents we often don’t know enough about our kids’ “digital lives”. Predators can exploit this in the darkest possible ways. Like many of you, I’ve heard too many stories of the world’s most detestable people using technology to gain access to and to cause harm to children.

Today I work to educate parents on how they can keep their children safe in our digital world. Communication and education are powerful weapons to fight the war being waged against our kids. All of us want our children to be empowered to make the right choices at the right times, to know how to get out of a
situation that feels uncomfortable and to come to us with their concerns. This is a cause I’m passionate about. I hope this blog will help you open up or expand the dialogue you’re having with the children in your life.

I also think parents need better, easy to use technology tools that can help us know what our kids are being exposed to, who they are communicating with and who is trying to communicate with them. That is why my brother and I and a talented team of technologists and entrepreneurs are working to develop new and intelligent technology to help protect kids and empower parents. I believe it’s the most important thing that I’ve ever done. Children have the right to use and enjoy technology safely and parents have a right to peace of mind. Please take a moment to see what we are working on: http://www.kidsafe.me

If this is important to you as well and you’d like to learn more about how to protect children in our digital world, please subscribe to my blog or follow me on Twitter.

Thank you.

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Inspired by his own child’s encounter with an online predator, Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – predators, sexting and cyberbullying. Co-founder of KidSafe.me, developer of the world’s only Parental Intelligence System which helps parents keep their social and mobile kids safe, he raises awareness of these issues and shares his experience with parents through Internet & Mobile Safety Workshops hosted by schools, churches and other organizations.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

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