Watch Your Facebook Invites

Do your kids use the “invitation” feature on Facebook to spread the word about parties and events with their friends? If so, make sure they know how to use the feature properly – or they could be putting themselves at risk.

Facebook invitations are fairly simple to use, and can be sent to anyone with a Facebook account or email address. Click “events” from your home account page and fill in the date and location, upload an optional picture, and customize the privacy level of your event (public or private.) The important part is this: don’t forget to triple-check the privacy level!

Last month a German teen identified as Thessa invited friends to her 16th birthday party using Facebook, but she forgot to mark the invitation as “private.” The result? The invitation went viral, causing 1,600 people to flood her street on the day of the party – even though Thessa later realized her mistake and cancelled the event. The police were called in to handle the crowd, and Thessa (who was nowhere to be found) had a very unhappy birthday.

Thessa’s real-life faux pas was preceded by a similar occurrence last year in Australia (which luckily turned out to be a hoax.) Facebook invitations for Kate Miller’s birthday went viral and Facebook ended up closing down the event after over 60,000 people RSVP’d.

What’s fortunate is that “Kate Miller” wasn’t a real person and that Thessa wasn’t hurt because of inviting the entire Facebook world to her house. But it serves as a reminder to you and your teens to be extra-careful with privacy settings on the Internet – that “private” button is easy to miss, but it’s vital when you’re giving out personally identifying information in an invitation!

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Watch Your Facebook Invites by Tim Woda is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

Facebook’s New Video Chat Feature

Video Chat Comes to Facebook

In an age where everyone has a social networking account and Facebook is the primary mode of communication for people (especially young people,) it was only a matter of time before Facebook introduced the ability to video chat.

Rolled out earlier this month, the new Facebook video chat feature is powered by Skype, which has enabled users to make free video calls since 2003. Facebook video chat allows you to connect to anyone on your “friends” list right from your Facebook account, and if they’re not there you can leave them a video message.

All it requires is a webcam and a simple plug in installation, and you can be chatting away with anyone you choose in no time.

This is a cool, exciting feature. Now your kids can keep in touch with friends who’ve moved away as if they still lived next door to each other. They can call home from college without paying long-distance charges – and since they’re already on Facebook anyway, they may be more likely to stay in touch.

However, as with any new technology Facebook video chat is subject to the obvious forms of abuse. Adding a video feature to the social network where your children and their peers already hang out opens the door for ramped-up video sexting (instead of just pictures) or your child becoming a target of even more in-your-face cyberbullying or sexual harassment.

Ask your teen today if they know about or are interested in Facebook video chat, and whether their friends use it. Talk about your expected guidelines for use of this feature before it becomes an issue, and as always, monitor their use on a regular basis.

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Facebook’s New Video Chat Feature by Tim Woda is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

Kids Cyberbullying Teachers: Facebook Hate Groups and More

This post originally appeared on www.kidsafe.me.

If you think that only kids that are the victim of cyberbullying, think again. Teachers can also become the targets of cyberbullying by their own students. In particular, Facebook hate groups aimed at a particular teacher are increasingly common.

In 2007, a Florida high schooler was suspended for creating a Facebook group called “Ms. Sarah Phelps is the worst teacher I’ve ever met!” She sued the school, claiming that creating the group was within her legal free speech rights. She won.

It may be legal, but it’s not nice – and it’s not smart, either.

Kids need to understand that what they type doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Whatever they put online can be seen by anybody – including the person they are ridiculing. Not only can it be devastating to the victim, but it reflects really poorly on the perpetrator, too.

When a college admissions officer or future potential employer Googles your child’s name and finds profanity-ridden personal attacks they wrote, how will that shape their impression of your child’s overall character?

With all its conveniences and opportunities, the Internet has let our kids down in the sense that it’s given them a false sense of reality.

When a child is out in the real world, he can’t publicly defame his boss and expect no consequences to come from it. Whether it’s just a tenser work atmosphere or something as serious as getting fired, the consequence will come.

Kids need to learn that lesson now, before they get out in the real world and have to figure it out on their own.

Parents, teach your kids to be nice online. Some teachers are incompetent, nerdy, or just plain mean. But in life you’ve got to learn to get along with all kinds of people – and that doesn’t include creating a Facebook group dedicated to ripping them to shreds.

by Jenny Evans

“Don’t Talk to Strangers” Isn’t Such Old-Fashioned Advice After All

In March, Ashleigh Hall’s name was splashed across newspapers everywhere after her body was found in a ditch. The 17-year-old had done something that a worrisome number of teens do: made a new friend on Facebook and gone to meet him.

A 2006 survey commissioned by Cox Communications with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children reported that:

  • 71% of teens reported receiving messages online from someone they don’t know
  • 45% have been asked for personal information by someone they don’t know
  • 30% have considered meeting someone that they’ve only talked to online
  • 14% have actually met a person face-to-face that they’ve only talked to on the Internet (the figure for teens ages 16 and 17 jumps to 22%)

In Ashleigh’s case, her new friend was a predator who had lied about his identity, posing as a 17-year-old boy. Many were quick to point fingers at Facebook: can’t they do more to prevent people from lying about who they are online?

Check out www.kidsafe.me/blog for the rest of this article and practical tips for helping you educate, engage and protect your children.

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______________________________________________________________

Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda

Xbox 101: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Xbox.  Xbox 360.  Xbox LIVE.  What’s the difference between these systems and what do we need to know as parents.  Let’s start with the basics.

When I was a kid “social gaming” meant sitting around with your friends on beanbag chairs, waiting for your turn at Pac-Man with the one joy stick we had.  The definition of “social gaming” for our children’s generation is very different.

Today, our children can pick up their controller and play a game of Halo with someone 1,000 miles away by connecting online.  They can check to see if their friends are “online” and join them in “multi-player mode”, all while sitting on beanbag chairs in different houses.  The world of gaming is changing rapidly and as parents we need to change the image we have of how kids play video games.

Microsoft’s Xbox is just one example of “social gaming”.    These systems allow the user to connect online through your homes internet connection to download new games, chat or play with others users, download and watch movies, or even share photos.

So what is the difference between Xbox’s systems?

Xbox – Developed by Microsoft and released in 2001.  Xbox is the original gaming system’s name.  It allows up to 4 player controllers.  In 2002, Microsoft announced the Xbox LIVE which would allow players to connect to others online.

Xbox 360 – This is the second gaming console released by Microsoft in 2005.  It is the “successor” of the Xbox.

Xbox LIVE – Microsoft’s Xbox LIVE is basically the online service for Xbox or Xbox 360.  Xbox Live is a paid subscription to Microsoft’s online gaming and content distribution service.  It allows the player to play against others online, chat with friends from school or people they meet on Xbox LIVE, download and trade photos and even download new games, movies and television shows.  When a player registers for LIVE, they create what is called their GAMERTAG, which is a “nickname” that will be displayed on Xbox LIVE so other players can see what games you play, how well you play them.  It is like a screen name.

If you are thinking about connecting your child’s Xbox to the Internet or already have a child connected, remember, as soon as your child is connected, the gaming console becomes a social networking tool.  In fact, Xbox Live recently gave users the ability to interact directly with Facebook and Twitter.  If you have parental control software on your family computers, that will not limit access to these sites if accessed through Xbox LIVE.

Without the internet connection, the Xbox and Xbox 360 are just like the games we grew up with – only with much better games (sorry Pac-Man).  You can only play with the people physically located in the same room.

Understanding the Risks

Online gaming is fun, exciting and today it is a part of childhood.  Inherently there is nothing wrong with it.  But just like any other place our children connect to the Internet, there is only one-degree of separation between our children and those intent on doing our children harm.  Parents need to understand the risks.

In Portsmouth, Virginia a 24 year old man was arrested and charged with a felony after asking for nude photos of a 13 year old via the Xbox LIVE.  In Saratoga Springs, New York a 20 year old man was arrested after finding the address of a 15 year old girl and sending her packages and flowers and sending thousands of text messages through her cell phone.  The parents of the girl refused all of the packages and changed the cell phone number, but the predator did not stop there.  He drove to her home and after finding the new cell phone number, sent text messages threatening to “rape” her and her little sister.  Cyberbullying is rampant!

Last night I had the opportunity to spend three hours in the FBI’s Washington field office with their Child Exploitation Task Force.  One of my key take-aways the meeting was that in their opinion, parents are simply not aware of the risks their children are exposed to online.  For one reason or another, few parents think bad things are going to happen to their child.  They think their child is too smart, too careful, too responsible, etc.  Predators are experts at finding our children.  They always go where the children are.  They are experts at approaching them and “grooming” them.  And it happens to smart, careful, responsible kids everyday.  In fact, while at the FBI office, a special agent demonstrated this live for the meeting attendees.  He created a brand new online profile, pretending to be a 13 year old and went online into a chat room.  Within 60 seconds, his fake profile was being chatted up by several adults and within 10 minutes, one of the random strangers – who identified himself as a 40 year old man – had sent the child a nude photo and was speaking in a sexual manner to the “child”.

This is a Parenting Challenge, not an Xbox Challenge

It is important to understand that this is not an Xbox challenge.  This is a parenting challenge that applies to all internet-accessible devices.  The world is now wired but our kids are still kids, no matter how smart or trustworthy they are.  It is important that we educate and engage our children on an ongoing basis about how to stay safe online.   A few of very simple rules:

  1. STOP- When online strangers try engage your child, they need to STOP, meaning they should not respond.
  2. BLOCK – They should BLOCK the  stranger so that they can not continue to communicate with them
  3. TELL – Our kids need to know to TELL a trusted adult, hopefully their parent.

And of course we need to make sure our children know that they should never meet someone in real life that they met online – ever.  You might consider reviewing an Internet & Mobile Safety Pledge with your kids.

It is also critical that you have a way to supervise your children’s usage of Xbox LIVE on an ongoing basis.  Using Xbox LIVE’s parental controls complimented by a KidSafe Basic subscription should provide you with the peace of mind you need to allow your children to safely enjoy Xbox LIVE’s amazing technology while playing with family and approved friends.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine

______________________________________________________________

Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda
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