What to do with a Sext

Do your kids know what to do if they open their phone to find that someone has sent them a sext message?

Forwarding nude or suggestive pictures – whether it’s meant to be sexy, funny, or mean – has become a pastime of middle and high school kids. How do you keep your kids safe if a sext appears on their phone?

Keeping a sext – even if your child didn’t ask for it or know that it was coming, even if he or she plan to delete it later – is a huge mistake. If the person in the picture is a minor, your child could be slapped with child pornography charges. Sext uKnowkids

Forwarding a sext is an even bigger mistake. Not only does it open up the person in the image to further humiliation, but it exposes your child to the double charge of possessing and distributing child pornography.

Want to keep your kids safe from scary charges like these? Tell them that the best thing to do with a sext is to hit “delete” immediately. Don’t show a friend, just get rid of it.

Of course I like to be in the know so I would want my kids to tell me after the fact. But the most important thing is to delete it – both for their sake and for the sake of the subject of the sext.

When we give our kids technology that makes sexting possible, I think supervision is really important (Note I didn’t say spying on your kids by reading their text messages while they sleep). For most parents, I would suggest investing in a Parental Intelligence System. The best ones in the market will allow you to monitor text messages in addition to social networks. Naturally I would recommend uKnowKids.com to any parent who may be looking for a smart tool to augment their parenting efforts.

Australian Teacher Fired for Sexting 15-Year-Old Student

Jeffrey Stanley Hughes of Australia had his teacher registration canceled by the Queensland Civil Administration Tribunal earlier this month for sexting a 15-year-old student.

The investigation looked into the 39-year-old teacher’s relationship with a female student whom he had been assigned by the school to help through some difficult family issues. The student had also babysat for Hughes and his wife three times.

Hughes and the girl exchanged over 1,000 text messages a month, which included inappropriate content and plans for a sexual relationship. Friends of the girl also reported seeing the two kiss three times.

The teacher will have his teacher registration revoked and will be ineligible to reapply for registration for three years. After that time he may reapply to teach in public school again.

These types of issues are hitting the news on what seems to be a regular basis and it underscores the important of parents staying engaged with what our kids are doing online and on their mobile phone. Please take a moment to familiarize yourself with tips for preventing sexting and be sure to talk to your kids early and often about making safer, smarter choices. It is better to have the discussion too many times versus not enough.

 

Cyberbullying, Sexting, and Fighting: What Is the School’s Responsibility?

Legislators often demand that schools take more responsibility for students who engage in cyberbullying, sexting, or posting fight videos on the Internet – even when it doesn’t happen in school or during school hours. One major question many parents are asking themselves is: can a school possibly police their students’ online lives? And even if they can, should they?

Actually, the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that schools can discipline their students for activities that occur on their own time away from campus, as long as the activities are “disruptive” or “dangerous” to the school or student body. So if a student’s online conduct poses a threat to the school or other students (a subjective judgement), they can be punished.

What about the first question? Do schools even have the capability to monitor their student’s digital citizenship? Teachers and school administrators are often overworked and overburdened as it is, unable to find the time (or the money) to comb the Internet to keep tabs on their students. How is any single entity expected to keep an eye on something as vast as the Internet, in addition to its regular 9-to-5 job of educating our children?

Australian independent schools have recently made headlines by using an online intelligence company to help them monitor their students’ public posts on Facebook, admitting that they can’t keep up with it all on their own. Some view the activity as a waste of taxpayer money, while others are outraged at the perceived invasion of privacy.

Opinions on these questions range all across the board, but what is certain is that schools cannot replace responsible parenting. Digital citizenship classes, school cyberbullying policies, and sexting legislation will never have the same impact that a one-on-one parent-child conversation does. Schools should play a supporting role, not a leading one, in monitoring and combating dangerous online behavior. Besides, even if schools really could effectively do it, wouldn’t you really rather be a part of your teen’s digital world?

post originally appeared on uKnowKids

Text Lingo Every Parent Should Know

Whether we’re talking about text lingo, friending people online or the pictures our kids post online, the best tool to minimize risky behavior online is our active involvement.  Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influence over the decisions they make.

But even kids that have active parents make mistakes and sometimes we have to protect our kids from other people.  Therefore it is important that you are at least familiar with some of the text lingo terms that would indicate your child could be headed for trouble.  Here is a small sample:

Text LingoAt KidSafe we regularly hear from parents that said they simply couldn’t remember the thousands of text lingo terms currently being used by kids.  KidSafe automatically translates text lingo into a language parents can understand and then our advance parental intelligence system will notify you if inappropriate, dangerous or suspicious behaviors or people are identified in your child’s digital world. We would love your feedback on the service so take a moment to create an account and tell us what you think.

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Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.

Kids, Texting and Text Lingo

Are you concerned that your child’s thumbs might fall off as a result of sending too many text messages?  Well join the club. If your home is anything like mine than you’re seeing the number of text messages being sent and received by your child head steadily upwards.  The average American teen now sends or receives one text message every nine minutes!

Text messaging is no longer just another way to connect with one another; it has become a cultural phenomenon.  Parodies on television of teens and tweens texting to one another while in the same room are funny because we can all imagine our own children doing the same thing. We’re asked to text in our vote to American Idol.  Barak Obama won the White House, in part, because of his team’s ability to engage young voters via text messaging.  The Pew Internet & American Life Project recently confirmed what every parent with a teenager already knows – texting has become the preferred channel of basic communication between teens and tweens and their friends.

Text messaging, officially called Short Message Service (SMS), has grown in popularity with teens for three primary reasons:

  1. Texting is a more efficient and a faster way to communicate than a voice phone call,
  2. The cost of messaging plans has steadily declined,
  3. Sending a text message is similar to passing a note in class – it is a discreet method of communicating with friends.

For parents and educators, it is this last statement that represents a challenge.  Let’s start with the obvious.  Why did we pass notes in class when we were kids?  If we’re being honest with ourselves than we can acknowledge that we were communicating something that we either didn’t want others to hear or we shouldn’t have been communicating at that particular moment at all.  Passing notes in class was our attempt at convert communications.

Text messaging has many benefits, it is here to stay and most text messages our children send or receive represent perfecting acceptable content.  I have nothing against text messaging.  That said, this chart illustrates, a staggering percentage of our children admit to using text messaging inappropriately.

Perhaps even more alarming is what Local, State and Federal law enforcement is seeing as a skyrocketing trend.  Child predators are now increasingly using text messaging to communicate directly with our children often right under our noses. Predators are always going to go where the children are and the preferred method of communication by kids is text messaging.

Risks and threats to our kids’ well-being have been a part of life since the beginning of time.  But it is important for us to accept a very simple truth – texting messaging and kids can be a risky combination without active parental involvement.

Introduction to Text Lingo

While the smart phones are capable of sending long text messages, less advanced mobile phones can only accommodate messages of 160 characters. This limitation naturally led users to try to use the fewest number of characters possible to convey a comprehensible message.

To cut the character count of a text message, users often use abbreviations and ignore punctuation and traditional grammar. For words which have no common abbreviation, users commonly remove the vowels from a word, or use pictures or a single letter or number to represent whole words.  Eventually entire phrases were reduced to acronyms.  Today, text lingo (also known as SMS language, Textese, chatspeak, chat lingo or net lingo) is a commonly used and well understood language by most teens and, to a lesser degree, technology-savvy adults.

Most of us are familiar with the regular, more harmless codes like LOL (laughing out loud) and ttyl (talk to you later) and a few others here and there. But as I said, text lingo is an entire language and most parents don’t speak text lingo fluently.  This opens the door to much risk but understanding the risk is the first step in managing it.  Allow me to share a sample conversion with you:

Sample Text Lingo Conversation

Surprised?  Stunned?  As this conversation illustrates, text lingo is not only more efficient than writing out entire messages, it also makes it possible for some pretty troublesome conversations to take place right under our nose.  Kids and child predators alike are able to engage in conversations that few parents would be able to understand.  Text lingo has become so mainstream with kids that it is now used in email, on social networking websites and when chatting with instant messaging services like AIM® and Yahoo Messanger®.

Talking to Kids in a Language We All Understand

Whether we’re talking about text lingo, the traditional written word or picture our kids put online, the best tool at your disposal to decrease risky behavior is your active involvement.  The earlier we start talking to our children about the decisions they make online and with their mobile phone the better.  Our children need to understand what our expectations are and what we consider “out of bounds”.  Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influencers over the decisions they make.  Just because we don’t speak in text lingo doesn’t mean that we cannot talk to our child about using the language appropriately.

Text messaging and text lingo are going to be a part of our kids’ life long into the future just like social networking, having a bank account, using a credit card, driving a car, etc. With consistent guidance on text messaging and text lingo from mom and dad, you have every reason to expect that mistakes will be less frequent and less severe. ______________________________________________________________

Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on topics related to technology and child safety.

Copyright © 2009-2010 Tim Woda
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