What to do with a Sext

Do your kids know what to do if they open their phone to find that someone has sent them a sext message?

Forwarding nude or suggestive pictures – whether it’s meant to be sexy, funny, or mean – has become a pastime of middle and high school kids. How do you keep your kids safe if a sext appears on their phone?

Keeping a sext – even if your child didn’t ask for it or know that it was coming, even if he or she plan to delete it later – is a huge mistake. If the person in the picture is a minor, your child could be slapped with child pornography charges. Sext uKnowkids

Forwarding a sext is an even bigger mistake. Not only does it open up the person in the image to further humiliation, but it exposes your child to the double charge of possessing and distributing child pornography.

Want to keep your kids safe from scary charges like these? Tell them that the best thing to do with a sext is to hit “delete” immediately. Don’t show a friend, just get rid of it.

Of course I like to be in the know so I would want my kids to tell me after the fact. But the most important thing is to delete it – both for their sake and for the sake of the subject of the sext.

When we give our kids technology that makes sexting possible, I think supervision is really important (Note I didn’t say spying on your kids by reading their text messages while they sleep). For most parents, I would suggest investing in a Parental Intelligence System. The best ones in the market will allow you to monitor text messages in addition to social networks. Naturally I would recommend uKnowKids.com to any parent who may be looking for a smart tool to augment their parenting efforts.

LG Text Education Program for Parents

This post originally appeared on www.kidsafe.me.

In December at an FCC conference in Washington, D.C., the LG Text Education program got recent attention. So I thought I’d check it out.

Usually I’m dubious about corporate-sponsored campaigns that are supposedly for the “public good.” After all, LG is a mobile phone manufacturer and their motivation is to sell their products and services, not protect our kids’ best interests.

But in this case, I’m pretty impressed. The focus of the year-old LG Text Education program is to educate parents about what is going on with their kids, digitally speaking.
Of it’s mission, LG says that “by becoming more informed through the LG Text Ed program, we all can enjoy the benefits of this new connectedness in a positive and safe way.”

LG draws from a council of credentialed child behavioral experts and uses charismatic actress/comedian Jane Lynch as its spokesman. The text ed program provides a balanced look at the risks posed by texting and how it fits into modern family life.

The program is not about how to react to the texting phenomenon affecting teens, but about understanding texting from the inside out and approaching it as an informed parent – the ultimate goal, in my opinion, being parental rules that are influenced by knowledge rather than fear of the unknown.

Above all, parents are encouraged to text with their kids and be educated about text acronyms, sexting, mobile bullying, excessive texting, text rage, and texting while driving. There’s no better parent than an informed parent to make rules, judgments, and decisions about their tween or teen’s texting habits.

by Jenny Evans

Cell Phone Use Among 6-12 Year Olds

This post originally appeared on www.kidsafe.me

Things were sure different when we were kids. If we needed to call mom and dad away from home, we had to find a pay phone. But cell phones are becoming more and more common with our kids, even among those as young as 6 years old.

Kids and Mobile Phones

In 2008, 51% of 12-year-olds owned cell phones, up from 18% in 2004. Among tween mobile phone owners, the average age of receiving the first phone is 10 or 11.

Parents are ostensibly providing their kids with cell phones so that they can keep tabs on them, stay connected, and make sure their kids always have access to help when they need it. But what is a 7-year-old doing with his phone, anyway?

The good news is that the cell phone is indeed a valuable tool in keeping kids in touch with their parents and out of trouble. The most common use of the cell phone for kids in the 6-12 age range is calling their parents, followed by calling friends, emergency purposes, text messages, and gaming.

Giving the First Cell Phone

Evaluate your child’s readiness for mobile phone responsibility and do your homework before buying his first cell phone.

Many phone manufacturers are now producing kid-friendly phones geared toward the 6-12 age bracket: some only allow calls to numbers pre-programmed by mom and dad, others block texting capabilities and internet connectivity.

When you finally make the purchase and hand over the cell phone, don’t do it without a contract. Sit down with your child and outline your expectations for use of his phone. Draw up a list of rules and the consequences for breaking them. Make it clear that having a cell phone is a privilege, not a right. If you are not providing a phone designed specifically for children, your it is best to then skip right past the “feature phone” and go straight to the “smart phone” such as a Blackberry or Google Android device. Smart phones are able to support the use of monitoring software such as the service we provide. Feature phones typically allow all of the functionality that can get kids in trouble but they don’t allow robust monitoring tools.

Cell phones can be invaluable tools to keep your kids safe in today’s increasingly dangerous world, but only if you also provide them with the information they need to use their cell phone responsibly.

by Jenny Evans

Text Lingo Every Parent Should Know

Whether we’re talking about text lingo, friending people online or the pictures our kids post online, the best tool to minimize risky behavior online is our active involvement.  Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influence over the decisions they make.

But even kids that have active parents make mistakes and sometimes we have to protect our kids from other people.  Therefore it is important that you are at least familiar with some of the text lingo terms that would indicate your child could be headed for trouble.  Here is a small sample:

Text LingoAt KidSafe we regularly hear from parents that said they simply couldn’t remember the thousands of text lingo terms currently being used by kids.  KidSafe automatically translates text lingo into a language parents can understand and then our advance parental intelligence system will notify you if inappropriate, dangerous or suspicious behaviors or people are identified in your child’s digital world. We would love your feedback on the service so take a moment to create an account and tell us what you think.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine

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Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.

Kids, Texting and Text Lingo

Are you concerned that your child’s thumbs might fall off as a result of sending too many text messages?  Well join the club. If your home is anything like mine than you’re seeing the number of text messages being sent and received by your child head steadily upwards.  The average American teen now sends or receives one text message every nine minutes!

Text messaging is no longer just another way to connect with one another; it has become a cultural phenomenon.  Parodies on television of teens and tweens texting to one another while in the same room are funny because we can all imagine our own children doing the same thing. We’re asked to text in our vote to American Idol.  Barak Obama won the White House, in part, because of his team’s ability to engage young voters via text messaging.  The Pew Internet & American Life Project recently confirmed what every parent with a teenager already knows – texting has become the preferred channel of basic communication between teens and tweens and their friends.

Text messaging, officially called Short Message Service (SMS), has grown in popularity with teens for three primary reasons:

  1. Texting is a more efficient and a faster way to communicate than a voice phone call,
  2. The cost of messaging plans has steadily declined,
  3. Sending a text message is similar to passing a note in class – it is a discreet method of communicating with friends.

For parents and educators, it is this last statement that represents a challenge.  Let’s start with the obvious.  Why did we pass notes in class when we were kids?  If we’re being honest with ourselves than we can acknowledge that we were communicating something that we either didn’t want others to hear or we shouldn’t have been communicating at that particular moment at all.  Passing notes in class was our attempt at convert communications.

Text messaging has many benefits, it is here to stay and most text messages our children send or receive represent perfecting acceptable content.  I have nothing against text messaging.  That said, this chart illustrates, a staggering percentage of our children admit to using text messaging inappropriately.

Perhaps even more alarming is what Local, State and Federal law enforcement is seeing as a skyrocketing trend.  Child predators are now increasingly using text messaging to communicate directly with our children often right under our noses. Predators are always going to go where the children are and the preferred method of communication by kids is text messaging.

Risks and threats to our kids’ well-being have been a part of life since the beginning of time.  But it is important for us to accept a very simple truth – texting messaging and kids can be a risky combination without active parental involvement.

Introduction to Text Lingo

While the smart phones are capable of sending long text messages, less advanced mobile phones can only accommodate messages of 160 characters. This limitation naturally led users to try to use the fewest number of characters possible to convey a comprehensible message.

To cut the character count of a text message, users often use abbreviations and ignore punctuation and traditional grammar. For words which have no common abbreviation, users commonly remove the vowels from a word, or use pictures or a single letter or number to represent whole words.  Eventually entire phrases were reduced to acronyms.  Today, text lingo (also known as SMS language, Textese, chatspeak, chat lingo or net lingo) is a commonly used and well understood language by most teens and, to a lesser degree, technology-savvy adults.

Most of us are familiar with the regular, more harmless codes like LOL (laughing out loud) and ttyl (talk to you later) and a few others here and there. But as I said, text lingo is an entire language and most parents don’t speak text lingo fluently.  This opens the door to much risk but understanding the risk is the first step in managing it.  Allow me to share a sample conversion with you:

Sample Text Lingo Conversation

Surprised?  Stunned?  As this conversation illustrates, text lingo is not only more efficient than writing out entire messages, it also makes it possible for some pretty troublesome conversations to take place right under our nose.  Kids and child predators alike are able to engage in conversations that few parents would be able to understand.  Text lingo has become so mainstream with kids that it is now used in email, on social networking websites and when chatting with instant messaging services like AIM® and Yahoo Messanger®.

Talking to Kids in a Language We All Understand

Whether we’re talking about text lingo, the traditional written word or picture our kids put online, the best tool at your disposal to decrease risky behavior is your active involvement.  The earlier we start talking to our children about the decisions they make online and with their mobile phone the better.  Our children need to understand what our expectations are and what we consider “out of bounds”.  Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influencers over the decisions they make.  Just because we don’t speak in text lingo doesn’t mean that we cannot talk to our child about using the language appropriately.

Text messaging and text lingo are going to be a part of our kids’ life long into the future just like social networking, having a bank account, using a credit card, driving a car, etc. With consistent guidance on text messaging and text lingo from mom and dad, you have every reason to expect that mistakes will be less frequent and less severe. ______________________________________________________________

Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on topics related to technology and child safety.

Copyright © 2009-2010 Tim Woda
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