Watch Your Facebook Invites

Do your kids use the “invitation” feature on Facebook to spread the word about parties and events with their friends? If so, make sure they know how to use the feature properly – or they could be putting themselves at risk.

Facebook invitations are fairly simple to use, and can be sent to anyone with a Facebook account or email address. Click “events” from your home account page and fill in the date and location, upload an optional picture, and customize the privacy level of your event (public or private.) The important part is this: don’t forget to triple-check the privacy level!

Last month a German teen identified as Thessa invited friends to her 16th birthday party using Facebook, but she forgot to mark the invitation as “private.” The result? The invitation went viral, causing 1,600 people to flood her street on the day of the party – even though Thessa later realized her mistake and cancelled the event. The police were called in to handle the crowd, and Thessa (who was nowhere to be found) had a very unhappy birthday.

Thessa’s real-life faux pas was preceded by a similar occurrence last year in Australia (which luckily turned out to be a hoax.) Facebook invitations for Kate Miller’s birthday went viral and Facebook ended up closing down the event after over 60,000 people RSVP’d.

What’s fortunate is that “Kate Miller” wasn’t a real person and that Thessa wasn’t hurt because of inviting the entire Facebook world to her house. But it serves as a reminder to you and your teens to be extra-careful with privacy settings on the Internet – that “private” button is easy to miss, but it’s vital when you’re giving out personally identifying information in an invitation!

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Watch Your Facebook Invites by Tim Woda is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

Internet Addiction May Put Teens at Risk for Depression

Would your teen start to get the shakes after 15 minutes if you took away the computer and all their Bluetooth-enabled devices? If so, it may be time to worry about their online usage’s impact on their mental health. 

A study published on Monday by the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine suggests that teenagers who are pathologic Internet users are twice as likely to develop clinical depression.

The study involved self-reporting from 1,100 high schoolers in China on their Internet usage and prevalence of depression symptoms. Emotionally healthy teens were more likely to report symptoms of depression 9 months later if they were also addicted to the Internet.

To compound the problem, the university researchers behind the study reported that Internet addiction also leads to increased aggressive behavior, relationship problems, and even physical health problems.

The findings of the study remained constant among kids with differenteconomic statuses, ages, and genders – although teen boys were more likely than girls to report use in the first place.

Remember that this study only proves that Internet addiction and depression are likely to occur together, not which one caused the other.Maybe Internet addiction causes depression, or perhaps teens developingdepression are more likely to turn to the Internet in an effort to self-medicate.

Either way, it’s time to talk if your teen exhibits signs of Internet addiction like:

  • Isolating self from real-life family and friends
  • Withdrawing from offline interests
  • Hiding or lying about Internet use
  • Online time interferes with homework or sleep
  • Eating meals or doing other activities in front of the computer
  • Developing carpal tunnel syndrome
  • Gaining or losing weight
  • Complaining of frequent backaches or headaches
  • Having trouble focusing on offline tasks
  • Appearing anxious, moody, or restless, especially when offline

When Internet use turns into addiction, it interferes with your child’s life and therefore becomes a problem. It may also mean that there is something more going on than meets the eye. Addictive online behavior is your cue as a parent to talk to your teen.

Text Lingo Every Parent Should Know

Whether we’re talking about text lingo, friending people online or the pictures our kids post online, the best tool to minimize risky behavior online is our active involvement.  Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influence over the decisions they make.

But even kids that have active parents make mistakes and sometimes we have to protect our kids from other people.  Therefore it is important that you are at least familiar with some of the text lingo terms that would indicate your child could be headed for trouble.  Here is a small sample:

Text LingoAt KidSafe we regularly hear from parents that said they simply couldn’t remember the thousands of text lingo terms currently being used by kids.  KidSafe automatically translates text lingo into a language parents can understand and then our advance parental intelligence system will notify you if inappropriate, dangerous or suspicious behaviors or people are identified in your child’s digital world. We would love your feedback on the service so take a moment to create an account and tell us what you think.

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Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.

Kids, Texting and Text Lingo

Are you concerned that your child’s thumbs might fall off as a result of sending too many text messages?  Well join the club. If your home is anything like mine than you’re seeing the number of text messages being sent and received by your child head steadily upwards.  The average American teen now sends or receives one text message every nine minutes!

Text messaging is no longer just another way to connect with one another; it has become a cultural phenomenon.  Parodies on television of teens and tweens texting to one another while in the same room are funny because we can all imagine our own children doing the same thing. We’re asked to text in our vote to American Idol.  Barak Obama won the White House, in part, because of his team’s ability to engage young voters via text messaging.  The Pew Internet & American Life Project recently confirmed what every parent with a teenager already knows – texting has become the preferred channel of basic communication between teens and tweens and their friends.

Text messaging, officially called Short Message Service (SMS), has grown in popularity with teens for three primary reasons:

  1. Texting is a more efficient and a faster way to communicate than a voice phone call,
  2. The cost of messaging plans has steadily declined,
  3. Sending a text message is similar to passing a note in class – it is a discreet method of communicating with friends.

For parents and educators, it is this last statement that represents a challenge.  Let’s start with the obvious.  Why did we pass notes in class when we were kids?  If we’re being honest with ourselves than we can acknowledge that we were communicating something that we either didn’t want others to hear or we shouldn’t have been communicating at that particular moment at all.  Passing notes in class was our attempt at convert communications.

Text messaging has many benefits, it is here to stay and most text messages our children send or receive represent perfecting acceptable content.  I have nothing against text messaging.  That said, this chart illustrates, a staggering percentage of our children admit to using text messaging inappropriately.

Perhaps even more alarming is what Local, State and Federal law enforcement is seeing as a skyrocketing trend.  Child predators are now increasingly using text messaging to communicate directly with our children often right under our noses. Predators are always going to go where the children are and the preferred method of communication by kids is text messaging.

Risks and threats to our kids’ well-being have been a part of life since the beginning of time.  But it is important for us to accept a very simple truth – texting messaging and kids can be a risky combination without active parental involvement.

Introduction to Text Lingo

While the smart phones are capable of sending long text messages, less advanced mobile phones can only accommodate messages of 160 characters. This limitation naturally led users to try to use the fewest number of characters possible to convey a comprehensible message.

To cut the character count of a text message, users often use abbreviations and ignore punctuation and traditional grammar. For words which have no common abbreviation, users commonly remove the vowels from a word, or use pictures or a single letter or number to represent whole words.  Eventually entire phrases were reduced to acronyms.  Today, text lingo (also known as SMS language, Textese, chatspeak, chat lingo or net lingo) is a commonly used and well understood language by most teens and, to a lesser degree, technology-savvy adults.

Most of us are familiar with the regular, more harmless codes like LOL (laughing out loud) and ttyl (talk to you later) and a few others here and there. But as I said, text lingo is an entire language and most parents don’t speak text lingo fluently.  This opens the door to much risk but understanding the risk is the first step in managing it.  Allow me to share a sample conversion with you:

Sample Text Lingo Conversation

Surprised?  Stunned?  As this conversation illustrates, text lingo is not only more efficient than writing out entire messages, it also makes it possible for some pretty troublesome conversations to take place right under our nose.  Kids and child predators alike are able to engage in conversations that few parents would be able to understand.  Text lingo has become so mainstream with kids that it is now used in email, on social networking websites and when chatting with instant messaging services like AIM® and Yahoo Messanger®.

Talking to Kids in a Language We All Understand

Whether we’re talking about text lingo, the traditional written word or picture our kids put online, the best tool at your disposal to decrease risky behavior is your active involvement.  The earlier we start talking to our children about the decisions they make online and with their mobile phone the better.  Our children need to understand what our expectations are and what we consider “out of bounds”.  Most children, teens included, say that their parents are the strongest influencers over the decisions they make.  Just because we don’t speak in text lingo doesn’t mean that we cannot talk to our child about using the language appropriately.

Text messaging and text lingo are going to be a part of our kids’ life long into the future just like social networking, having a bank account, using a credit card, driving a car, etc. With consistent guidance on text messaging and text lingo from mom and dad, you have every reason to expect that mistakes will be less frequent and less severe. ______________________________________________________________

Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on topics related to technology and child safety.

Copyright © 2009-2010 Tim Woda

“Don’t Talk to Strangers” Isn’t Such Old-Fashioned Advice After All

In March, Ashleigh Hall’s name was splashed across newspapers everywhere after her body was found in a ditch. The 17-year-old had done something that a worrisome number of teens do: made a new friend on Facebook and gone to meet him.

A 2006 survey commissioned by Cox Communications with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children reported that:

  • 71% of teens reported receiving messages online from someone they don’t know
  • 45% have been asked for personal information by someone they don’t know
  • 30% have considered meeting someone that they’ve only talked to online
  • 14% have actually met a person face-to-face that they’ve only talked to on the Internet (the figure for teens ages 16 and 17 jumps to 22%)

In Ashleigh’s case, her new friend was a predator who had lied about his identity, posing as a 17-year-old boy. Many were quick to point fingers at Facebook: can’t they do more to prevent people from lying about who they are online?

Check out www.kidsafe.me/blog for the rest of this article and practical tips for helping you educate, engage and protect your children.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine

______________________________________________________________

Tim Woda is a passionate advocate for protecting children from today’s scariest digital dangers – cyberbullying, sexting and predators. He co-founded KidSafe, is the author of Keeping Kids Safe: A Guide for Parents of Social and Mobile Children and is a frequent public speaker on the topic.

Copyright © 2009 Tim Woda
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